tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8953894085647721972011-11-27T15:18:55.127-08:00All about the business of coparentingKristin O'Meara Hillmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13336475881884282459noreply@blogger.comBlogger141100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-895389408564772197.post-89155489613505878902008-05-15T15:29:00.000-07:002008-05-15T18:27:19.611-07:00

Last week, I wrote about the unforeseen challenges of traveling for business. As a divorced parent with primary responsibility for raising my daughter The Bean, I underestimated the impact of my being away for a multi-day business trip. After taking a post-travel guilt trip, I’m back and doing what I do best: Research, research, research.First, I turned to what’s widely considered a classic for

Kristin O'Meara Hillmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13336475881884282459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-895389408564772197.post-1511134292261602502008-05-08T06:11:00.000-07:002008-05-08T13:16:26.307-07:00

Just picked this up from yesterday's Science Daily, and it's so encouraging to me that I wanted to pass it along. Below, you'll find my own blog entry, which deals with -- surprise -- keeping things stable!After Divorce, Stable Families Help Minimize Long-term Harm To ChildrenScienceDaily (2008-05-08) -- For children of divorce, what happens after their parents split up may be just as important

Kristin O'Meara Hillmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13336475881884282459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-895389408564772197.post-36786680589472850812008-04-24T17:08:00.000-07:002008-04-24T17:17:00.088-07:00

We’re back from our spring break in the greater Fort Lauderdale area. Theoretically speaking, what happened in Fort Lauderdale could have stayed in Fort Lauderdale if it weren’t so darned weird.The anticipated Weird Thing (a tentative outing with my ex-husband, his girlfriend, her son, my husband and my daughter with Husband #1, The Bean) never happened. The unanticipated Weird Thing was pretty

Kristin O'Meara Hillmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13336475881884282459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-895389408564772197.post-13154634207858235662008-04-17T09:39:00.000-07:002008-04-17T09:52:04.360-07:00

Last week, couples therapist Betsy Bergquist weighed in on how one co-parent, my friend Ellen, successfully prevented a fractious battle over late bedtimes at the home of her son’s dad, Mike by making a few simple changes in her own behavior. There’s always room for improvement, Bergquist says, and if Ellen really wants to step up her game with Mike and her 10-year-old son, Ethan, there are two

Kristin O'Meara Hillmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13336475881884282459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-895389408564772197.post-35287558799805434162008-04-09T09:13:00.000-07:002008-04-09T09:20:47.780-07:00

Last week we talked about Ethan’s mom and dad, Ellen and Mike, who had an ongoing conflict to work out. Ellen was using her Secret Weapon, The Compassionator, to build consensus and work out differences with Mike. This week, I asked couples expert and Families Inc.’s resident sensei, Betsy Bergquist, to weigh in on Ellen’s communication style switch, and what small changes can have a big impact

Kristin O'Meara Hillmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13336475881884282459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-895389408564772197.post-8030685711732118722008-04-02T09:45:00.000-07:002008-04-09T09:22:45.193-07:00

Mike and Ellen are friends of mine who happen to be divorced, but share parenting time with one child, Ethan. He’s 10. Ellen, like a lot of moms, has primary custody; Mike sees Ethan on Wednesdays and every other weekend.*Ellen called me on Monday, ready to rip out her hair over the following scene: It seems that Ethan stayed up way past his bedtime – again – on Sunday night, and was a sniveling,

Kristin O'Meara Hillmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13336475881884282459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-895389408564772197.post-59001008780174175342008-03-28T10:17:00.000-07:002008-03-31T08:22:05.292-07:00

Let’s assume that your ex-partner made you nuts when you were married and still gets your goat on a regular basis. Those new dress shoes you just bought for your son come back from your ex-’s house full of mud and scratches - again! Your daughter's teacher sent home a note complaining that she was unprepared for class - again! Your kids were supposed to be picked up an hour ago, but your ex- is

Kristin O'Meara Hillmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13336475881884282459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-895389408564772197.post-84052077792467315732008-03-13T13:46:00.000-07:002008-03-13T19:43:57.705-07:00

Like a lot of New York/New Jersey-area folks, I heard the news that Eliot Spitzer had been taken down after being linked to a high-end prostitution ring and thought A) Oh, Lord, is this a joke? And, B) is he gay, too? With the McGreevey scandal still in close by in our collective rearview mirror, my husband admitted that he’d wondered this, too. As it turned out, the news was neither a joke nor

Kristin O'Meara Hillmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13336475881884282459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-895389408564772197.post-31328532683075745062008-03-06T12:56:00.001-08:002008-03-07T13:05:15.536-08:00

I’ve been off duty at Families, Inc. after a short winter break in Puerto Rico with my family turned into an awful, unforeseen two-day stint in a Puerto Rican hospital.Fortunately, I’m just fine after a scary few days of dealing with what looked a lot like a stroke, but turned out to be a pinched nerve. Scarier still was trying to get medical care in a place where very few people spoke English at

Kristin O'Meara Hillmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13336475881884282459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-895389408564772197.post-39145431852159412742008-02-13T12:17:00.000-08:002008-02-13T14:15:38.709-08:00

Last Friday night, I had the rare task of herding kids offstage after they performed in my daughter’s school talent show. The show’s a big deal in our little town, and entire extended families turn out to watch the proceedings. Naturally, I thought the Alvin and the Chipmunks impersonators – with my daughter, The Bean, as Alvin – were the best of the bunch, but all the kids received a medal for

Kristin O'Meara Hillmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13336475881884282459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-895389408564772197.post-83695230383591038692008-02-09T10:19:00.000-08:002008-02-11T16:05:53.433-08:00

Last week, I went off a bit – and politely, thank you very much – about the short shrift given by a recent Parenting magazine article that touched too lightly on the subject of fighting in front of the kids.Kids have radar, it’s true, as the Parenting article correctly points out, even babies can tell when you’re angry. It’s impossible to conduct a Watergate-style cover-up of negative emotions

Kristin O'Meara Hillmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13336475881884282459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-895389408564772197.post-63510685475815984112008-01-31T07:42:00.000-08:002008-01-31T17:16:54.466-08:00

Good Lord, what were you thinking, Parenting? In an article about parenting myths picked up by CNN.com under the headline “ ‘Don’t Fight in Front of the Kids’ and Other Advice You Can Ignore,” (1/29/08) , author Fernanda Moore set about the tricky work of myth-busting the concept that parents shouldn’t fight in front of their kids. In just a handful of paragraphs, she posits that it’s

Kristin O'Meara Hillmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13336475881884282459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-895389408564772197.post-46478159755278107502008-01-23T11:31:00.000-08:002008-01-31T07:38:29.735-08:00

“I can’t do it, but I have to do it! I’m overwhelmed,” my daughter, The Bean, shrieked, as she rocked anxiously in her desk seat. She stared down at a page of multiplication problems, the same kind of homework that she’d breezed through the night before. It was a 15-minute assignment, but it was taking eons. Sometimes, just doing simple things like homework takes on a life of its own at my house

Kristin O'Meara Hillmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13336475881884282459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-895389408564772197.post-73991497920634081682008-01-10T11:49:00.000-08:002008-01-10T13:20:04.945-08:00

Life is large, and if you’re divorced, co-parenting, or married again with his-and-her kids, you know life tends to get even larger. For me, it continues to spread out like an oil spill: big, messy and hard to contain, but full of fuel for the fire.I’m writing a book on co-parenting after divorce, called “Families, Inc.,” so stay tuned for updates, excerpts, and occasional shameless

Kristin O'Meara Hillmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13336475881884282459noreply@blogger.com0